I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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