WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
