There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
