drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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