I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
