There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
