Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
