i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
