Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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