I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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