Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
