You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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