You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
