sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
