mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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