.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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