I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize