Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize