she was so not down for the gang bang
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize