You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
