I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she peed on how many people?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
