He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
