K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
