I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
BRING THE BAGELS
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
