she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
