tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think your dad took our porno
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
