I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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