He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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