it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
