Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
