I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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