Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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