so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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