So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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