I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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