i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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