Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
operation harelip BJ is a go
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
