didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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