i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
