did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
