Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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