I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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