Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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