so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize