I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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