I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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