found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
