I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
