i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
