Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My balls are so social today.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
