Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
