Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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