cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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