so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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