she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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