Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I love you.
Bad choice
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