I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
