so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
