Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
