i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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